Dear Charlotte.

I want to hang out with my boyfriend but my mom won’t let me. She thinks we’re just going to start doing stuff. I never get to see him because of practice and games on the weekend. What do you think I should do?

Sincerely,
Brittney

First off I understand that you want to visit your significant other frequently, but the first thing to realize is that you have to allow your mother some transitioning time. I’d like to put a disclaimer and say that my advice is not always guaranteed to work, but it can help open up the opportunity to help you out.

Instead of just blatantly asking to go over your boyfriend’s house, ask to have him over. Introduce him to you mother and make sure he’s on his very best behavior.

Now don’t invite him over for dinner just yet, that seems too serious and would most likely put your parent into a mini shock (though she’d never let you know it). After having him introduced (and asking to be introduced to his parents as well will show you have manners) ask to have him stay to watch a movie. At this point in time, your mother will either be surprisingly cool or very shocked and too proud to tell you. DO NOT ask to watch a movie in your room, and if you are thinking about it, then shame on you; don’t do it. After your mom is a bit used to having him in your household, ask to go to the movies with him. Don’t you dare try to sneak over to his house. Don’t break the trust you’re still trying to gain. Go to the movies; enjoy this little sliver of freedom so it’ll remind you to not mess it up. Next step is to do some surveillance on your mother; make sure the waters are clear for the question. Finally when you think her heart can handle it, ask her to go over your boyfriend’s house. The worst she can do is say no.

That’s it! Now you have a simple step-by-step thought-out plan, on how to get your mother to allow you to spend time at your boyfriend’s house alone. Good Luck!

Sincerely,

Charlotte