When August comes around everyone knows it is back-to-school time, but that time of year starts to look a little different as kids get older and are transitioning from high school to college or trade school. Some students are leaving for colleges far away, while other young adults are staying home and commuting, or something in between.
This transition to life after grades 9-12 can lead to burgeoning new relationships or can be the root cause of many break ups as the partners in the relationship are packing up their lives to head off to two different schools where they want to start fresh without any ties. Another element that can complicate this exciting but oftentimes stressful situation is when younger partners are left behind in high school while their older counterparts go off on their next new and exciting adventures.
Times like these are hard for friendships and especially romantic relationships. People go from being together all the time to going months at a time without each other. Friendships might be able to survive these gaps in time. but for relationships…. maybe not so much. When experiencing times like these, people tend to ask themselves the common question, will this long distance relationship work?
Being away from a significant other can be hard for many people. Between having trust issues, insecurities, and loneliness in general, it can be a very stressful time. It can be even harder if the other person isn’t fully committed to the relationship or doesn’t try to make the time to call or reach out.
When being so far from a partner, it’s never knowledgeable what these students are doing, where they are or who they are with. This can be very difficult for the person waiting back at home. The significant other could be stressed out by infidelity or if said person is just anxious in general they can be worried about their partner’s well being. One text or a 5 minute phone call can really make a difference about how a person is feeling.
Things can be especially tough in this generation with a lack of communication. The long Date to Love states that 2% of high school relationships survive long distance and the success rate of a long distance relationship in general is 58% https://2date4love.com/long-distance-relationship-statistics/#:~:text=The%20success%20rate%20of%20a,%2Dminute%2Dlong%20phone%20calls. Maybe people just need some advice.
If you’d like to pursue a long distance relationship as a college student, make sure you are all in. If you know and feel like you are not prepared for a relationship in college, or know that you don’t wanna be tied down during college, end your current relationship asap. That is not fair to the other person who thinks you are willing to continue the relationship and then you dump them two weeks into college because you want a “college experience”. Sure there are experiences in college that are amazing to experience but going out and seeing others romantically is not something that needs to be experienced in college. That can happen anywhere anytime. Really take into consideration what you want and then go from there.
Now, if you would like to pursue a long distance relationship make sure there is a lot of honesty. Be clear and truthful and update your partner about your status and plans. Whether you are at a party, sports practice, or class, communication is key when it comes to long distance relationships. Always give reassurance because it makes your partner more secure. Make the time to call your partner. It is good to make time for one another because it shows that you care.
I personally have struggled with these experiences. I was recently “that girl” who was worried about what her boyfriend was doing, wondering why I was being ignored, wondering if the relationship would last. It is one of the worst feelings in the world. We didn’t know how to communicate and really downplayed how hard long distance really is. He also had a friend that was doing weird things and showing great interest in him. I was in constant fear that he was with her and something was going to happen and I would never know about it. I believe that they were together a lot and I never really knew when and where they were seeing each other. It made my relationship weak. He was always at parties which isn’t a bad thing but he would ignore me for hours at a time and wouldn’t even tell me what he was up to or update me during the time he would be out. I would lay awake with major anxiety because I knew nothing about his college life, friends, ect.
Know that you aren’t alone when it comes to struggling with a long distance relationship. Senior at West Milford High School states “Majority of people have this idea already of the college experience but you can still be in a relationship while having this said experience. Communication is key before leaving for college and once you are in college.”
My best advice to those who are going through this right now is to seriously communicate with your partner. If you feel as if they aren’t giving you the best they can give you, don’t settle for it. Never be afraid to speak how you feel because the way they react shows you their true character. Always remember to put yourself first. Just like your partner has found a new life experience, you also have a life and you need to live it to the fullest!
Long distance will never be an easy thing. It depends on you and your partner and the effort you put into it to keep the relationship alive. Seriously remember to always put yourself first and communicate with your partner. Everything will work out the way it needs to.
