This is one of the most devastating times most humans have gone through in their lives. We are surrounded by isolation, death, and the fear of the unknown. While everyone is going through different emotions, it is mandatory to acknowledge what you are feeling, because holding your pain inside will make it all the more difficult. Everyone processes emotions in a different way, some more open and sensitive, while others, like myself, either bury the pain or go numb to avoid feeling anything. It’s been almost two months. It is time to show our pains. It is time to let our loved ones know what we are feeling, to seek help, and to support each other.

I am in no way a sensitive person. I don’t let many things bother me, and if something does bother me, I do my absolute best not to show it. Most people would say I am a talkative, happy, goofy individual who likes to tease and make others happy. I would say I keep my appearances up well, because deep down, I am usually a ball of tangled emotions I cannot explain. This holds true for current times as well. I have learned to be the rock in my family, because my mom and sister are very sensitive, and my dad works during the day. I feel it is up to me to assure everyone things will get better. It may seem like a lot of pressure for a seventeen year old, but I have done it for so many years it doesn’t bother me. I am sure there are many other highschoolers in the same situation as I am, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t feeling things either. 

I do not believe that I am feeling too much significant loss during the quarantine, but the loss I do feel, and others who are feeling similar loss that I am, should not avoid their hurt just because someone we know may not be sick, or passed away. I was unable to take my driver’s test on my birthday; my reaction was “Oh well ,I can take it when it opens”. In reality, I was upset, but I realized there are worse things going on. I miss my family and my friends, but at least they are healthy and staying safe. I do not play spring sports, but the MLB is a huge part of my life and I will definitely be missing that part of me this year. I did not care one bit about the prom, but I was devastated we could not finish our play season. We worked so hard on it and there were very few of us not crying the night of our only performance. This situation stinks, but we need to stay strong and get through it.

Although the things I may be grieving are not as important as others may view as loss, I am still in pain. Loss does not have a definitive list of things people can feel it for. Everyone processes loss a different way, there are different emotions loss brings, and we need to embrace our losses to make us stronger. So go ahead and cry, yell, and feel everything you are feeling. Do not hold back. The longer you push down what you are feeling, the more hurt it will bring you. From the bottom of my heart, I hope everyone who reads this is okay, and knows that they can be feeling however they want, and things will eventually fix themselves.