Oh, deer! Bucky overthrows Pollaro as chief

Fake News


Carlos Brown

Mr. Nick Pollaro has been West Milford’s fearless leader since the beginning of time, but his reign has come to an end. Bucky ‘the Buckman’ has officially become the new assistant principal. As Bucky’s first order of business he will take down the hierarchy. Bucky has been patiently supporting all aspects of West Milford waiting for his moment to turn against the principals and stick it to the man. Bucky hopes to reduce the abuse of power he has been facing for the past years. All other administrators have no ideer how this happened, but no one is willing to take Bucky down.
Bucky will revolutionize the way Highlander sports are played, and will even change the prestigious awards, Athlete of the Deer. He will institute a new fencing program for the deer in which they will fence with their antlers. Bucky in an exclusive interview with “The Buck Stops” revealed that he will be firing all human teachers and replacing them with fellow deer and will be paying them the big bucks. He also will be instating a dress code in which all students are required to wear orange vests so that he will be able to see every student. Bucky will also be cutting the grass himself using various grazing methods so the school can stop wasting valuable food. He will also be putting more foliage and fruit in the cafeteria. Even the curriculum of some classes will change. Deer history will become a part of every class, and in science there will be a study in each marking period that will grow fruits and vegetables for the staff and the principal. There will be revisions in the financial and business classes to teach more about the best way to take care of their doe.
Pollaro was a crucial part of the school but Bucky will be able to redact most of the Dears work from his predecessor. Instead of scanning into all the classes everyone will have automatic sensors that will log in each time the student enters the classrooms and bathrooms. Bucky will also be removing the rule of no food outside of the cafeteria. Students can travel outside the lunchroom with their various fruits and foliage. Bucky also will be extending the winter break because the holiday season is the most wonderful time of the deer, and will always include five days after New Deers eve.