It is becoming clearer to girls that the boys of today are nothing like the men who came before them. It is hard to believe, but there was once a time where men opened the car door for women, held doors for them, respected them, and waited for the women to sit before sitting down at a table.

This is not to only single out the boys, because girls are just as responsible for letting things like this happen. For some reason, girls have allowed themselves to be treated whatever way a guy wants. They have lost a certain important amount of respect for themselves. Girls used to have to be treated with respect in order to even be talked to and now all that’s changed. Guys walk all over some girls, and they allow that. Most girls say they want a good guy who respects them and treats them right, but they go after or are stuck on a guy who treats them like dirt. Back in the day, girls didn’t have to feel like they needed to show skin in tight, revealing clothing in order to get a guy’s attention.

            Watching old movies is so different. It’s almost unrealistic to watch the man helping the lady over a puddle, helping her out of the car, or offering her his jacket when she’s cold. Things like this happen from time to time, but these things actually do matter, and should happen more often.

A man didn’t just date a girl he thought was hot and who he thought would “put out” easily. The man used to court a lady he thought he was really compatible with. The whole process of courting a lady took a while. They would meet at a social gathering, talk, get to know each other a lot more, meet the parents, ask to officially court (date) the daughter, and eventually, if all went well after a while, then marriage. Nowadays boys don’t even talk face-to-face with the girls they like, it’s all through text. Texting your crush has become the equivalent to a real conversation back then, and it is clouding what people really mean behind the words of their texts. If there is no communication between the two face-to-face then how could the relationship possibly move forward?

Both boys and girls are guilty of not putting any real meaning in their relationships. There are a few types of relationships that are the most common in the dating scene. First is the “Oh, she looks easy” type, also known as the “player” relationship. In this relationship, the male pursues the female in hopes of “getting with her.” If he succeeds, then the male will leave and go onto the next unsuspecting victim. With this type of relationship, which is not uncommon, there are clear red flags that you can spot from a mile away. One is if the guy only wants to talk to you over the phone/ Internet whether it is text, calls, kik, Facetime, Skype, or anything of the sort. Usually he’s quick to start using pet names such as personal nicknames, cutie, babe, and love. He stays up late to talk to you and tells you that he wants to stay up because he enjoys talking to you, so you can feel a little bit more special than the other girls. He’s quick to tell you about his past relationships, but is quick to add how he’s changed. He won’t talk to you in public, be it in malls, on the street, school, or anywhere where people will catch on to the fact that you have conversed before. He will also tell you how he’s not a looker, doesn’t get girls, and is insecure, so he fishes for compliments and is reassured that you are hooked on him. Once the guy has you hooked, he’ll start to invite you over and then things go as he planned.

            There’s the “awkward setup” relationship. Sometimes friends just don’t know when to back off your personal life and, Bam! They magically come up with a boy who is “so your type.” Many girls who suffer that kind of relationship actually bear with it because, well, they couldn’t get a guy in the first place. Both parties are usually not very active in dating, so they put up with each other, despite not knowing much about each other.

            There’s a “just out of the friendzone” relationship. This one can go one of two ways- completely right, or completely wrong. You can have a happy ending like in the movies where the girl or guy realizes “the one” was right in front of him/her the whole time, because they know everything about each other. Then again, it could always crash and burn. Sometimes the guy or girl refuses to stay in the “friendzone” and someway somehow manages to get out of it. Once trying out the relationship the guy or girl notices that s/he can’t see the other in a more intimate relationship, and decides to back out immediately, leaving the once again “friendzoned” other hurt and in an awkward friendship.

            There’s also the “OMG, he totally just liked/ messaged me on Instagram, let me stalk him” relationship. This is mostly directed towards the girls and in some cases the overly cocky guy. For some odd reason, girls tend to think because a guy even looks their way that they are automatically looking to be in a relationship with her. This tends to lead to excessively liking their Instagram pictures, almost immediate Facebook friend request, liking of all past profile pictures, tweeting and retweeting, constantly chatting them, asking for phone number, very desperate flirting.

            Finally there’s the relationship that everyone wants and it comes in all shapes and sizes but they all have one thing in common- love. It’s the thing that everyone dreams about and is only ever really seen in movies, books, TV, or in some cases, that picture perfect couple everyone says they want to be like. The key thing in this relationship is respect, communication, trust, honesty, attraction, and understanding. It’s hard to know exactly when you’ve ended up in a relationship with “the one” but it is said that it is easy to feel it, so when they have it they never let it go.

            Sometimes people want to believe so badly that they’ve found the one up until the point that they tell themselves enough to actually think it’s real. That’s how relationships are getting to be a more and more common thing in all age groups. Nowadays little children are becoming more and more fascinated with the idea of love until they start putting themselves out there at an alarmingly inappropriate age. They are exposed to the older generation looking for love or displaying their “love” all the time in public, even though they might not even be with each other for any of the right reasons. Love isn’t just something you see in a Disney princess movie, but now they are seeing an imitation of it in front of their own eyes, of course they are going to think it’s normal! By their older brothers, sisters, friends, and cousins taking every opportunity to get into a relationship, this affects the children by wanting to mimic the role model, which is a highly common thing to do. It is all a cycle that proves relationships should not be taken lightly. It is not a popularity contest to see who has been with the most people. It is supposed to be something people only get into when they know they are with someone they know about, care about, and can handle.

            In any case, relationships are becoming more and more common. Some are for the right reason, some for the people who actually think they are doing it for the right reasons, and some for wrong. Both men and women need to wake up and realize that they both don’t have to hop from person to person in order to rest easy; relationships are for people who actually care for each other.