This may sound like a joke, but two men walk into a lavatory together. Two strangers who simply happened to walk in at the same time. They both make the fatal mistake of taking urinals right next to one another. The silence is nerve-racking and the awkwardness is off the charts. Both men are unwilling to budge and the tension increases exponentially. Finally, after what feels like hours, one man gives up and walks out of the room, an unsuccessful attempt at relief. How can this kind of masculine situation be easily resolved? It is easy; by the time every male reaches the age of 12, he should be taught basic understandings of lavatory etiquette, better known as The Rules of Engagement in the Men’s Room.
The most important parts of the men’s room are the urinals, it is what separates the men from the women and in the end they are rather delicate. The first rule for the urinal is the concept of “One Space.” A man should never post up right next to another man if there are more than two urinals in the room; the larger the buffer area the better. It allows each man to have arm room, leg room and overall personal space necessary to do his business. Psychologically, this decreases the awkwardness.
Moving on to the next rule of thumb “The Stall.” It is used for only one thing and that is number two. Even when urinals are occupied, the stall should not be used for urination, especially if someone needs it for its proper use. Now, this is a rule that even I break at times, but it can be modified to make it slightly more acceptable. First, leave the door open, there’s nothing to hide, we know what’s going on and you might as well just man up to it. Also, if you really want to go out on a limb, you can sit down and pretend to be using it for the proper purpose. This is a risky move but, if done successfully, you can walk out with dignity.
Finally, respect the sanctuary. This is not a place to disrespect by throwing trash in the urinal or defecating on the floor or something as simple as clogging the sinks with paper towels. It is one of the only places that men have to themselves, very few places in the world are meant just for men and those that are must be handled with a code of brotherly honor.
Without rules, men could never function in their environment. I hope that these general rules continue to be followed and enforced in the room. These are your Rules of Engagement in the Men’s Room!
