Like many of you out there, I have been taken in by the idea of a zombie attack.  It seems very unlikely.  However, there are enough bizarre, yet true, stories out there of people doing the unthinkable.  Owing to these recent concerns, I thought it would be a good idea to tell people what to do if there was actually a zombie outbreak.  By way of reassurance, I do know that the person recently suspected of being a zombie was not what we thought, but it is good to educate the masses for the unseen future.

For those of you who continue to read this ridiculous article, I have one main topic of information to share that will make your life easier.  If there is a zombie apocalypse, there is more than a 99.9% chance that it will spread and we will only be able to avoid it for so long.  So my advice is, chill and try to enjoy the time you have.  For the sack of the fighters, here is the information you need to know. When dealing with zombies, they may be faster than you, so get in shape. If you don’t want to get in shape, get a friend who is in worse shape than you (just kidding… but it is true).  Also, get somewhere where you have a clear 360۫۫  view, like a field. Keep to high grounds; it will give you a better chance when dealing with zombies. Most importantly when you hear something coming from the closet, don’t ever open the dang closet. I mean what is wrong with people today? “Just gonna go open this closet in a dark room with no immediate way out of the room.”  NO!  75% of the time it may be a zombie or a friend, but during an actual apocalypse, it will be better to just run.  Don’t be a hero in an apocalypse. Don’t let children go outside to play during an apocalypse. Why would you leave your small child unattended?  That is how children zombies are made my young readers. 

There are numerous very important things you need to know in the event of an actual zombie apocalypse.  Unfortunately, if there is an apocalypse, people will simply have to figure it out for themselves. Everyone has there own technique. So it will be up to you, the possible two people who actually read this whole article. Use my advice.  Follow your instincts.  Make it to the end and tell us how you did it!  Good luck, may the odds be forever in your favor.