“Helicopter parents” may do more harm than good

Photo Courtesy: lmhcny.com

Photo Courtesy: lmhcny.com

A ‘helicopter parent’ is defined, according to the dictionary, as “a parent who takes an overprotective or excessive interest in the life of their child or children.” However, in the twenty-first century, the amount of incredibly helpful–and yes, incredibly invasive–technology may be helping to cultivate this coddling culture into more than just “excessive interest” in a child’s life.

From the soccer field to the classroom, children, especially in the U.S., are being taught more and more often to rely on their parents to solve problems that some say they should be learning to solve for themselves. For example, the controversial rise of anti-bullying campaigns with the same universal message is beginning to cause a stir with child psychologists across the nation–prompting the question, is it right to teach children to go to an adult first when encountering a bully? Some researchers are starting to be convinced that the “tell an adult first” approach may be stunting a child’s development in their problem-solving skills, while others believe that it will help to raise a generation of children less-prone to conflict.

However, with some college-aged young adults relying on their parents to email a professor into giving a certain grade, bullying would seem to be only the tip of the iceberg in what helicoptering can teach kids. Dr. Ann Dunnewold, Ph. D., a licensed psychologist and author of “Even June Cleaver Would Forget the Juice Box”, says that over-involved parenting can lead to increased anxiety, a sense of entitlement, undeveloped life skills, undeveloped coping skills, and decreased confidence and self esteem. Dr. Dunnewold says, “The main problem with helicopter parenting is that it backfires, the underlying message overinvolvement sends to kids, however, is ‘my parent doesn’t trust me to do this on my own,’ [and this leads] to a lack of confidence.”

This lack of confidence and self-esteem influences the way a newly-turned adult will act for the rest of his/her life, and especially how s/he will treat his or her own future kids. Unfortunately, the line between expressing interest and expressing too much interest in a child’s life is thin, and extremely difficult to differentiate between. Although it may seem obvious when a parent virtually goes away to college with her child, that protective parenting has been taken a little too far. An almost snowball effect may have occurred throughout the child’s development in a way that would make it seem unnatural for the parent not to have an influential role in the young adult’s life.

As much as a parent may love his/her child, it really has been tried and tested that it’s best to let a child experience failure and disappointment, as it can be key to growing into a perfectly independent young adult.