Our very own Bucky Highlander mascot is throwing down the gauntlet to Mr. Pollaro. Last week, Bucky was caught mid- fisticuffs with Lakeland’s mascot, Lancey the Lancer. Pollaro is responsible for breaking up the scuffle and sending Bucky to deer mascot reform school and issuing him five Super Fridays. Bucky feels he was wronged and is blaming it all on Pollaro, “I shouldn’t be punished for sticking up for my school. I only did what any good deer would do. If you were a deer, you’d understand. What does that guy even do anyway? I am the real boss of this school.” Freshman Cameron Murphy said of the incident, “I am deeply hurt. Someone with so much passion for the school should not be so wronged.”
Pollaro initially could not be reached for comment because he was too busy jamming in his office eating Thin Mints, but eventually he broke down. When informed that Bucky wants to fight him, Pollaro said, “That’s fine.” He feels Bucky got a better deal than he should have, “He should have gotten an out of school suspension,” according to our esteemed V.P.. Pollaro also feels that it wasn’t fair for Bucky to take on the lancer in the first place, “You have to remember, he’s at an advantage [over] anyone else, especially that poor lancer. That lancer has a lance that only has one point, while Bucky has several points on his antlers, right? Maybe even 12, 12 points. So that puts him at a greater advantage. He should know better and know how to control his antlers.”
Our inside informants told us that Bucky was planning to antler Mr. Pollaro’s car. His response? “That is fantastic. In fact, I saw a deer get hit by a car yesterday. I felt very bad for that deer. If Bucky were to antler my car, then I could get a new paint job courtesy of West Milford School District, because it would be under their insurance policy, so tell him, be my guest.” We don’t know, Mr. Pollaro, you might want to get some deer repellant; Bucky seemed pretty intent on revenge. BEWARE!